You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
barbara walters just said penis...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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