he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
