My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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