i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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