i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
