so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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