seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
