you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
handjob tips. give me some.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
