i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
