so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
