i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
