I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
What drink are we having for lunch?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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