Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
