How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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