Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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