No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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