some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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