He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
