Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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