We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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