i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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