You work out of a Hotel?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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