Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
