He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
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