question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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