You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize