thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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