No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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