just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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