She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
