There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
