hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
