just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
