That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Randomize
