I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize