her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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