Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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