Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
