Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
