There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
