piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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