i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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