Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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