Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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