i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i wish my penis had a tongue
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
