just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
