well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
