is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
