Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
