she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
