she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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