I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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