Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
