i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
