He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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