we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
