I want to have your abortion
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
