I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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