this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
