1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
